Inner Battle & desire

Now that i have made the decision to change my life i feel much more comfortable with my self but i do feel a struggle . I have widen my horizon. open my self to new teaching, see past desire and greed, but at time i catch my self falling in old pattern, letting my inner self strive for material desire…

let me give a example :

For my journey i had decided to rid my self of most my material attachment and with the money receive I want to purchase a Motor home and be able to travel for my pilgrimage with wife and kids . Now today i found a motor home that is perfect for us and because i dint have the money to by it now i found myself playing in my head how i could juggle money and trying to manipulate situations to get what, when i want it…

I have to balance myself and let life be life and let it bring me what it is I need, when i need it and in the process i believe i have to stop putting all of my focus and energy on trivial thing or event, Accept what is and liberate my self of all conception of what i should be or do.

I accept desire, but i wont let it govern me
I accept life and it wisdom for teaching me patience
I believe in my quest and myself
I welcome all that is god and good in this world
I welcome all wisdom life offer
I surrender to the light
I love you

So i dont know if this is good but thinking about the RV still work me up
so then i decided to get something for my wife she wnts to paint again so instead of trying to buy what i want i will help someone else get to there desire…has i am writing this i can instantaneous feel my focus change and now i am excited to see her reaction.
It is beautiful to let yourself desired happiness for someone, i know it not much but this feel great.

Today i have spread knowledge
and help someone
i hope i will get to do more for other


Originally posted 2015-07-16 20:08:49.

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